I got discouraged by online dating. I'm sure Patti would say, "Well you should be diversifying your man portfolio!" Ideally, 1/3 of leads from online dating, 1/3 from friends, 1/3 from your geographic circle (aka men you meet just by being out and about).
It's just very discouraging, ya know? I won't start the trite single woman's lament, but it's true. There's the guys I've gone out with who would like to enter me in their cell phone as booty call. There are the men who I'm just not interested in. And of course there's the one guy who I actually like who is the type of guy I should want to be with, but of course I'm somewhere between sabotaging for fear and looking for things to go wrong.
I just want to shelve the whole thing. I want to make peace with my life and just keep on going at my happy little pace. My doctor told me a few weeks ago that he thinks I should make a five year plan. He probably said that because it's healthy to look into your future and feel some sense of direction and goals. I'm terrible at goal setting, but if I'm going to, the truth is that I have to make plans as though it's just going be me looking out for myself. Which is kind of depressing and thus defeats the purpose, but oh well.
The truth is that I'm learning a lot about myself. I can see things that I have to work through, and the end goal isn't to be with someone, it's to be someone I want to share headspace with. :)
Okay, erratic post. Obviously written by a single girl at 11pm on a Saturday night. Ha! I'll be more interesting some other time.
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