I have never been one of those women who has a list of must-haves for my future-mate (okay, maybe when I was 12). But Patti makes it sound as though this is a conversation she has to have often with ladies. Frankly, I think I'm going to have a hard time figuring out 5, but I shall do my best.
The first one is something that I have learned in the past year. I have lowered my standards in this arena both moderately and significantly, and based on strong advice from my friends and what I know in my heart- the first non-negotiable is INTELLIGENCE.
Let's just say I'm not lacking self-confidence in the area of intelligence. I know I'm smart, and I don't need anyone to soothe my ego. I enjoy challenging myself intellectually, broadening my horizons, and having good conversations with my friends. In fact, last fall I was enjoying a great night of conversation with some of my friends- the friends for life type- and realized that I was so glad they married smart people, and that I'd also have to marry someone who could hold their own with my sharp and savvy friends.
I've come to a point where I realized that mental engagement is important to me. Not only important, but necessary. Not only that, but I have to stop playing the role of "silly girl" with men I'm dating. I don't want to be a ball buster or arrogant, but over my past few relationships I have "played dumb" to boost the ego of the men I'm with. That doesn't seem fair to either of us.
So there's one non-negotiable down. I'll keep thinking of others!
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